As an international couple, we first needed to inform ourselves as to what our options were in regards to where we should go on this journey to parenthood. When I was younger, I never really thought about there being places where gestational surrogacy would not be available. These are some of the countries we explored before deciding to continue in the United States, although, this was a pretty obvious choice.
Germany: not possible
I was living in Hannover already for 2 years when I learned that surrogacy or working with a gestational carrier is illegal in Germany. With how liberal Europe always seems compared to the States, this was a bit of a shock. In Germany, laws around reproduction are actually quite stringent. On top of surrogacy being illegal, embryo testing is also illegal, and IVF is only available to couples. Couples are only allowed to keep 3 embryos frozen, the rest are destroyed, and it’s not possible to find out the gender of the embryos. Gender isn’t communicated to the parents until the 15th week, where it’s not longer allowed to have an abortion, to ensure couples don’t abort a pregnancy based on gender.
From what I’ve read and conversations I’ve had with friends going through fertility treatments in Germany, a lot of this stems from Nazi practices of testing and experimentation during World War 2. Post war, laws were put in place to ensure the ethical lines would never again be crossed in the ways that they were, but compared to modern medicine, these outdated laws create difficulty to people trying to start families. There are organizations and groups pushing for reform, but let’s face it, issues related to women’s rights and reproduction aren’t the highest priority on the desks of government authorities. So modern reproductive rights remain conservative and slow to progress in Germany for now.
England: possible, but risky
Since I also have British citizenship, we looked into working with a gestational carrier in England. It seemed like a nice option since it’s closer to Germany and we could quite easily travel back and forth. Unfortunately, surrogacy is also quite complicated in the UK. I won’t pretend to know all the details, but I do know that in England, the legal mother of a child as stated on the child’s birth certificate is the name of the woman who has physically carried and delivered the baby. This means, a couple would have to adopt their biological child. One huge risk with this practice is of course, if a carrier were to decide to keep your biological baby, you would have no rights as you are not seen as the parent and therefore would be left powerless. Not that situations like that happen, but that’s just a risk Jan and I are not comfortable taking. After learning this, we stopped researching this option in the UK.
United States: the best fit for us
Gestational surrogacy in the United States is quite regulated, with agencies dedicated to helping find a gestational carrier and navigating couples through the legal complexities of the process. Especially with our fertility clinic, embryos, my OB and my family all being based in the same city in the US, this was really for us the best choice. Gestational surrogacy is legal, with carriers allowed to be compensated for their service in most cases, however Surrogacy Lay differs from State to State. Our clinic offers an informative map “Surrogacy Laws: The Best States for Compensated Surrogacy”. When we signed up, Nebraska was red… at least it’s orange now!
Canada: Also an option
Recently we had a conversation with some good friends of ours, a gay couple who is getting married this year. They are also exploring starting a family and will follow as similar path to ours. I never considered that Canada is also a country with options. Surrogacy is regulated and the industry as a whole is similar to in the United States. I don’t know much more than that, but good to know it’s another country to add to the list.
Other countries:
I believe surrogacy is practiced in countries like Spain and Denmark, but we didn’t research much into these options since they wouldn’t work for us. Some countries allow for it, but only if a family member carries the baby and isn’t financially compensated for it.
There are also countries where the practice of gestational surrogacy is very common, cheaper and easily accessible, but the protections of the gestational carriers are not at all guaranteed. These are countries like India, and pre-war Ukraine. Vulnerable women are often exploited and the whole process is not as regulated as it should be. People who want to ban the practice all-together often cite surrogacy in such countries, as they certainly lay in more of a grey area than in the United States. This was never an option we’d even consider.
If you’ve had any experiences with surrogacy in any other countries, I’d be super interested to know what your experience was like! Pros/cons… recommendations… leave it all in the chat:
Bun Without an Oven 
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